It's not easy

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a difficult one for most of us. We need think no further than the story of Adam and Eve in the garden. Rather than admit wrongdoing, it was so much easier for them to put the blame somewhere else. We can feel too, that God loves us more when we're doing good. We can even try to make ourselves believe God doesn't know about our wrongdoing.

God loves you

God love us! God knows what the challenges of human life are all about. We can think about the story of the Prodigal Son, the great insult and hurt the son inflicted on the father, and how the father welcomed him back, without even waiting for an apology. I've had occasion to meet many people who were hurt very badly by family members and friends. When I ask the question, "Would you ever be able to forgive them?" the answer is usually, "Yes." If we as humans can be so forgiving, how much more is God willing to forgive us!

God waits

He waits for our return. "But I haven't been to Confession for fifty years!" The response is simply ... "Welcome back! How good it is that you are here!"

How do I know if I'm ready?

If you've read this far, chances are you're serious about getting ready. Sometimes we are reluctant to go to Reconciliation because we're not sure what to do or what to say. How do we know that we're ready. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, three things are necessary ...

• CONTRITION. Contrition is "sorrow of the soul and detestation for the sin committed, together with the resolution not to sin again. The reception of this sacrament ought to be prepared for by an examination of conscience made in the light of the Word of God. Click on the "examination of conscience" link here for one version based on the Ten Commandments.

• CONFESSION OF SINS. The confession [or disclosure] of sins, even from a simply human point of view, frees us and facilitates our reconciliation with others. Through such an admission we squarely look at the sins we are responsible for, take responsibility for them, and therefore open ourselves again to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible. Confession to a priest is an essential part of the sacrament of Penance. "All mortal sins of which penitents after a diligent self-examination are conscious must be recounted by them in confession. According to the Church's command, "after having attained the age of discretion, each of the faithful is bound by an obligation faithfully to confess serious sins at least once a year."

• SATISFACTION. Many sins wrong our neighbor. One must do what is possible in order to repair the harm [[e.g. return stolen goods, restore the reputation of someone slandered, pay compensation for injuries." Simple justice requires as much. Raised up form sin, the sinner must still recover full spiritual health by doing something more to make amends for the sin. The person must "make satisfaction for" or "expiate" sins. This satisfaction is called "penance." It can consist of prayer, an offering, works of mercy, service of neighbor, voluntary self-denial or sacrifices.

  ---

What to say.

The priest will greet you in the Reconciliation Room or Confessional. If you choose to meet him face to face, simply exchange a normal greeting ... good morning ... and shake his hand. He'll help you begin. You'll make the Sign of the Cross together. In the name of the father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Don't worry. The priest is there to help you! He may invite you to have trust in God .. by saying these or similar words: "May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy." You could respond with "Amen," if you'd like.

The priest may also read a short passage from Scripture. Simply listen!

Confess your sins.

It could be that after the Sign of the Cross, the priest will simply be silent. Then you could confess your sins. You might mention how long it has been since your last Confession. Many of us are used to beginning by saying, "Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last Confession was ____ ago. These are my sins." If you're stumped by this time, chances are the priest will simply ask, "What are your sins."

Then tell him what your sins are. Remember, it is important to confess all serious sins. Reconciliation means that we're ready to let go of all sins too. It's the ones we hold back that sometimes make things more difficult for us. So, no matter how difficult it seems, mention them all.

Penance and Act of Contrition

The priest may then speak to you. He may try to help you to see the source of your sinful actions. Usually, we're sinful because we're selfish. He'll also assure you of God's love for you. He will then propose an act of penance which you accept to make satisfaction for sin and to amend your life.

He may then ask you to pray an act of contrition ... or of sorrow for your sin. It is just fine to pray a spontaneous prayer ... eg. "God, I'm sorry for my sins. Give me the strength I'll need to leave them behind and live a new kind of life." We may wish to pray the Act of Contrition we learned as a child. An example:

 

My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.
In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good
I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more,
and to avoid whatever leads me to sin.
Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us.
In his name, my God, have mercy.

[Another example] O my God, I have sinned through my own fault
In choosing to sin and failing to do good
I have sinned against you, whom I should love above all things.
I firmly intend, with the help of your son, to make up for my sins
and to love as I should. Amen.

 

Absolution

The priest will extend his hand toward you, or perhaps lay his hands on your head as he prays the Church's prayer of absolution:

 

God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins
in the name of the Father, and of the Son, +
and of the Holy Spirit.
R/. Amen.

 

Dismissal

The priest may pray a short closing prayer with you. He may also simply say, Go in peace to love and serve the Lord. Your response can be very natural ... a simple Amen, or Thank You ... Have a good day. Then go to spend some time considering your Penance.

The Bottom Line

But isn't there something I can take along, so I won't feel like I'm forgetting something?  Certainly!  My Credit Card to Heaven, the size of a credit card, with all the information you'll need to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

or  ... just print this cheat sheet ...

Communal Reconciliation